-HELLO EVERYONE! Just feeling lucky and excited! Been looking for a site like this, then here and now, IT'S HERE! FOR FREE! AND FOR & ALL THROUGHOUT MY LIFETIME SITE! oH MY! I like first to thank God for this event, if you will. Lord thank you so much! If this is the fulfillment of my prayerful request to you, with your infinite guidance and regulations, I will make this blogsite, with all my effort and talent, informative, beneficial, entertaining, educational, and whatever for anyone who logs on here, FOR FREE!
I am Ed E. Goodwater, of legal age, married, resident of the Philippines, of course, a Filipino. But why the GOODWATER thing! Like some of the good writers, which I'm just trying to emulate, though I do not categorically belong to their group because I am not really a writer, I, too, would like to use a pen name, an alias, an A.K.A., sort of thing to hide and protect my identity in cases where it will become the object of humiliation or other detrimental situation in ones own name when an inadvertent error of omission or commission had been done without any direct and outright intention to do so. This is the simple reason for that GOODWATER thing.
Meantime, that's all I have to say. When I come back, rest assured you will be reading some litlle, initially, materials of general interest to everyone. Thank you so much. Ed e. goodwater
Some are remorseful, repugnant to some extent and declaring my last post as utterly in bad taste and finally asking me to delete it! But the way I see it there’s not enough reason to be so uptight with it except probably for one particular joke which I eventually deleted and replaced with one milder configuration. This exactly was about the female teacher thing doing an OBRA MAESTRA. Yes, this is the only thing that I think is out of place there, and surely this had utterly irked some classic, sensitive people. But if this has caused some trouble and vexation for some few, well, I’m so sorry. It’s not intended to slight or even hurt anybody for that matter. It’s just for fun! And speaking of FUN, There’s no funnier way than to delve on something human do so indiscreetly true but naturally human and normal! So I guess we need and open mind here where everyone can use a little bit more understanding. And surely I do not even think I got neither bad writing it nor you turning bad reading it! Well, anyway as sure as we cannot please everybody, we or I should be content with some very few who might have enjoyed reading it and in fact even asking me to publish more things like it! Okay guys! We’ll do it again but sometime later when we ran out low of any other things to write about. Meanwhile….. I had thought of inserting every now and then some funny jokes or even green jokes at the end portion of my blog just so to ease up your mind and relax your composure back to your normal self. So, too, to clear and wipe out from your mind any disgustful or unworthy idea I might have brought out with my blog.
I still don’t have new things in mind to discuss. So I think I just go on along as lazily as I could monologue to myself just recalling simple impertinent things maybe had transpired in my cheesy life. Last three days ago I was inside a bus on my way home after buying some parts needed for my job orders. I was busy reading the funny/green jokes from my cell phone sent by, who else, but Joey, my friend and able supplier of whacky things, when I noticed my bus swerving every now and then. When I tried to figure out things found out our bus driver was having sort of a race with the other bus running alongside us. It’s not actually a race for speed, how can they when there are lots of other vehicles plying the street. This was along Taft Avenue in Manila at the stretch nearing the university belt or where schools are lined up and located. These two bus drivers are surely racing or trying to get ahead first in their attempt to get riders or passengers to fill their buses’ empty seats. It’s funny how these bus drivers do this thing; they’re actually trying to block one another. And the sequence of blocking just shifted every now and then at the traffic signs or lights, when they’re bound to stop when the red light is on. At every point of traffic lights our bus driver was definitely always ahead when the green light was on. This probably irked the other driver and at that point nearing La Salle College; his bus had inched a little ahead of our bus and intentionally swerved to the right totally blocking our bus. The flow of traffic was normal although not in full swing as the two buses laid there motionless, in full stop. After some two minutes in that predicament, our bus driver stood from his seat and got down the bus and confronted the other bus driver. I readied my camera apprehensive of some scoop news about some brawl that definitely follows this kind of situation. There, our bus driver went direct to the door of the other bus and just surely hollering or howling unpleasant things to the other bus driver, as I read his lips, while on my seat. To my dismay, but luckily though for both of them, the other bus driver did not make any other untoward move but instead realigned his bus along the way and moved ahead. My bus driver got back to his bus and since I was at his back seat, the place I preferred in riding bus, I coyly poked him still holding my camera, “I thought you’re going to give me scoop news!” And he said, “If that SOB got out from his bus, he should have got it.” “Are you a reporter? “ I said, “No, just a crappy blogger.” “But I think you’re on the right way always, that’s why I was so eager to have a shot of whatever that will come out of this to support you, just in case you need it.” Then he replied, “Yes, I know I’m right, otherwise I won’t go that far asking him to get down his bus and settle the whole thing manually or squarely. But thanks, anyway for being here!” And we finally had a safe way home.
Had this incident pulled through unfavorably I had covered some portion in video where things could rightfully point and seen who’s erratic and who’s not. Though it’s nothing but foiled scoop news, it’s still something quite an experience this blogger has undergone and probably just worth a bit blogging since there isn’t no other.
Okay like I said I’m going to insert or plug one or two funny/green jokes at the end part of my blog, here goes:
1. A Pakistani family in America had their Grandpa in a good nursing home in Ohio. After sixteen months they visited Grandpa. “How do you feel here Grandpa?” Grandpa replied: “It’s wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous and respectful. There’s a Musician, 85yo, hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro. There’s a judge, 95yo, hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years, everyone still calls him Your Honor! There’s a Dentist, 90yo, hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years, and they still call him Doc. Now there am I. I haven’t had sex for 35 years and still they call me “The Fucking Pakistani!”
2. It takes 300 little Silkworms to make a girl a Pair of Silk Panties……But it takes only 1 Big Worm to persuade her to…… take it off!!!
Okay that’s it, see you next time. Thanks a lot!
goodwater724
21-10-11
Almost a week is over since I posted my last blog and seems like nothing new has come up yet to mind or even to things that going on around. It seems the world for me has suddenly stood still unmoving with no discernible patterns of movement. Except probably because I’ve been swarmed with back jobs from my customers pinning my precious time back to what had been done already turning me disgustful and unmindful of things around. But things like these happen and you just can’t do anything about it but do the necessary repair or corrective jobs to be done. Luckily though I was a bit relieved now because I barely have three more back job units, washing machines, to work on and it’s just a matter of some three hours and all will be perfect again. The current job orders are not pulling through right now, too, except for some two or three television sets, the cathode ray tube types, which fortunately are not requiring rush repair service. So I had this little time again to do some little updating on my blog site.
But this time because of lack of pertinent subjects or ideas to blog about, I’ve decided to come up with some impertinent things and ideas that would surely make, if not ruin your day. I have compiled my collections of jokes sent to me via text or SMS over the cell phones and I hope you will at least have some laughing time when you’re through with it, at least again, if you have not come across them yet. These are old jokes I think long laid and kept in my cell archives. But some of them are new ones, too, which were forwarded to me just so recently. I had thought we just need this kind of things once in a while to lighten up things and just forget the serious aspects of life itself.
So here goes:
1. A Chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar. All of a sudden Spielberg slapped the Chinese!
Chinese: Why?
Spielberg: That’s for bombing Pearl Harbor! My father died there!
Chinese: You fool! But I’m not Japanese!!!
Spielberg: Shut up! Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese! You’re all the same!!!
The Chinese annoyed punched Spielberg back!
Spielberg: Why?
Chinese: That’s for sinking the Titanic!
Spielberg: But the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, stupid!!!
Chinese: You shut up! Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg!!! You’re all the same, stupid!!!
2. This one’s about some three black women flying for the first time.
First woman: I’m going to wear hot pink panties because if we crash in a cornfield, they’ll see me first!
Second woman: I’m going to wear fluorescent orange ones because if we fall in the ocean, they’ll see me first!
Third woman: I am not wearing any panties because they always look for the Black Box first!!!
3. One time Anthropologists overheard the Lord of the Jungle confronting his family!
Tarzan: I’m going downtown to buy me a brief to make mine thing safe. You Jane what do you want?
Jane: Me! I want some panties to make mine thing safe, too!!!
Tarzan: You Cheetah! What do you want?
Cheetah: Me! I want CONDOM to make Jane safe, too!!!
4. This next one’s between a Grandpa and his grandkid having a heart to heart talk!
Grandpa: BEFORE, with my P20 (Twenty Pesos) going to the grocery to buy… I could bring home with me: rice, sugar, milk, coffee, canned goods, some detergents and shampoos and soap!!!
Grandkid: What about NOW Grandpa?
Grandpa: NOW!!! NO MORE! They’ve got surveillance camera!!!
5. This one is a timely reminder to declare that we should not believe that the world will end on 2012. The evidence is clearly manifested or imprinted in one of our canned sardines whose expiry date is 2013!!!
6. A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours? SON: At school, Dad! (Robot slaps son) Okay, I went to the movies. DAD: Which one? SON: Toy Story! (Robot slaps son again) Okay, it was Day with a Porn Star. DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was! (Robot slaps Dad) Mom butted in. MOM: AH HAH! After all he’s your son. (Robot slaps mom).
7. TODAY’S SERMON: Faithful husbands will go straight to heaven….unfaithful ones will enjoy HEAVEN on earth.
8. A Chinese detective was hired by a husband to watch his wife suspected of seeing another man. A few days later, he sent this report: Most honorable sir; You leave house. He comes house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree, look in window. He kisses she. She kisses he. He strips she. She strips he. He plays with she. She plays with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, I do not see. NO FEE YET!
9. A father having a casual talk with his son.
Son: Dad what are Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Penrex and Happy King?
Father: Those are things that Daddies take when Mommies grown old!!!
10. This next one’s a conversation between two oldsters who missed one another for one month.
Oldster 1: Where you’ve been?
Oldster 2: I was jailed.
Oldster 1: Why? What’s your offense?
Oldster 2: There’s a sexy waitress at the park who filed rape charges against me. At 75 I was so proud that I pleaded guilty! But then the 60yo judge gave me 30 days for perjury.
There still some more but the set up is looking unmanageable! I might as well end here but of course not forgetting to thank my friend, Joey, he doesn’t want his full name published, and who sent all these whacks old and new alike to me. Thanks a lot!
goodwater724
13-10-11
It must be sheer madness if not plain preposterousness to go on discussing the ecstatic or euphoric feelings of a man who is going to be a father for the first time! This means your wife is about to deliver or give birth to your first child! I wasn’t actually urged to write about it, only requested, which I had the right to agree or refuse. Of course just to satisfy the curiosity or request I had to put up things like what I’m about to discuss now. If the request had been rather to that how ecstatic or euphoric the first time you penetrated the woman who is going to mother your first child, I think I would make a rather better sense of it. And practically you must be enjoying a no-pin, no-snaps, no-hooks, no-straps, projections or configuration by now. But sure the request now is about the other way around. If this is directed to the mother herself who is about to deliver your first child, it must have been altogether a confusion of anxieties, grieves, pains, hardship and even an unprecedented death! Imagine a woman giving birth to a child the normal natural way; it must have been nothing but pain and hardship. Just imagine the push, push, push thing required to get that child out of the womb! What if the child inside the womb decided not to get out! And instead decided to tarry a bit while because he had developed some extra likings with his current surroundings and have likened so much the floppy things going on around him! And perhaps even enjoying his own umbilical cords wrapped around him pulsating giving him enough play thing and energy to tarry more! Well, of course, these are preposterous ideas and don’t make any sense at all. But the possibility of the child not being able to project himself out of the womb maybe an abnormal sequence in giving normal birth, which eventually resulted in Cesarean Section, but they happened! And the way I see it there’s no euphoric or ecstatic configuration in there, only anxiety of something worst to happen.
The father is even more anxious or in a lot of quandary thinking what if the child is black when he is white or white when he is black! So this idea is even more complicating the situation. What if he’s sure that this could happen because when he married his wife, she had a black/white boyfriend before and they just jilted when this father had meet this girl who is his wife now! These are off-beat things and rarely happen but they do sometimes in stories and films. So in real life they project the same anxiety or even fear it carries along with it. So far what we could have considered ecstatic and euphoric is when the wife finally undergone the delivery of the child so normally and well without any trouble or problem. It is there when the husband was suddenly relieved a bit of the trauma and finally equally euphoric and ecstatic if he seen the baby is neither black or white but just plain a normal configuration probably assuming his own person. But there is still doubt no matter how sincere and faithful your wife has been to you! So meticulously like a scientist you go over the medical records or minutes of things that transpired even secretly at that or maybe conniving with some of the nurse to hand you bits of that information you’re so eager to find out. There, sometimes it’s available with just a plain written request or spoken request with some of the nurses, but they don’t give this information normally. Maybe, some nurses thought you’re not sure of your wife if she’s really your wife, so they will hand you the data sheet containing all those information you need to know, yes! About the blood type of the baby, there, once you have seen it and it jive with your blood type you will now find some little assurance that maybe, still maybe, the baby is yours! So actually, if we’re thinking of those sensational things accruing to being a father for the first time, I believe there is no such thing! Unless finally when the baby grew up to some extent and developed to have some striking resemblance to you and maybe even more euphoric and ecstatic if he’s been a copycat to you!
There, that’s my funny opinion about the whole of it, being a father for the first time! But the euphoria and ecstasy is the feeling that no matter what happens you’re going to be a father now and it’s your moral obligation to support this child in all ways and manners acceptable to human and God. And that probably makes all parents ecstatic and euphoric.
Goodwater724
07-10-11
This must be crazy! Have you ever experienced seeing a moon on October? Of course not! This is just probably true only in the peripheral prefectures I’m basing my blogs, the Philippines. But in some other places there must have been a regular moon on October. Let me just explain to you some little, although still not viably proven and effective, yet still it’s capable of drawing some interests or, at least, a bit of it to have some two or three readers reading your blog. For me that’s good enough! If only I could get all my legion of readers reading this blog at a time simultaneously, well I’m sure the traffic would get so heavy you’ll find a hard time connecting to my site! I’m not kidding. I have a legion of readers practically compose of surprisingly five (5) people! One in Canada, one in the USA, one in Dubai, one in the Philippines, and just recently I added one in Hamburg, Germany! But this legion is most of the time busy battling and just like me struggling to win a war against life itself!
So practically most of the time they’re waging an endless war crumpling, knocking, tumbling, crushing every nook and cranny, hills and mountains, walls and structures in their ruthless spasm to earn a living! What a crazy phrase indeed! So most of the time too, I’m left alone battling, tweaking, reading my crappy blogs alone! What really a lonesome life this is! But despite the loneliness, I’m still happy in my own way. Because I have come of age to understand that to go on living you just have to take things up good or bad and manage them accordingly to generally accepted standards. So like one of my secret admirers said, “You’re like a Free Spirit, Ed” I don’t really know what she meant by that but it sounds good to me. So I’m taking it literally and considering myself now as a Free Spirit! Probably and more appropriately perhaps free spirit to write anything in this blog whether it be credible or crappy blogs!
I could easily stray from my subject just telling you side details. Like a free spirit so quirky and easily could get anywhere the wind blows. So just to get you back from where I started, October Moon is a misnomer. August Moon perhaps is a bit credible because I think I’ve seen this film, (or was this just a song?), sometime so long ago I forgot all about the story or song anymore. But employing misnomers or things which are incredible and seldom heard is probably one quite effective way to arouse interest among readers. But of course with the assumption that they have no idea that your blogs are that crappy at all. Because once the idea of crappiness sipped in on the readers’ mind no amount of effort could ever change that. If you have x-ray vision like Superman you would probably see them readers spitting at your blog! This is a sure sign that they really abhorred it. So purportedly they must be spitting at their screen monitors too! How insanitary we could get if we are doing it. Honest, we don’t do those things. It’s just a whimsy psychology of a desperate old man now gradually losing friends, dying one by one, some turning senile, some just don’t want to move anymore, and some more just plain inactive, no more interest to muddle and bungle with this digital world.
Because if you’re over 60, sure almost all kinds of pain and discomfort brought about by the aging process is manifested there; you’re not even capable of punching the keyboards accurately anymore unless you had some experience with typing jobs and your fingers are still agile and flexible. But so far and again pre-computer oldsters only used to reading newspapers and not used to reading blogs in the computer are common facts and realities probably now existing around the world. And quite despairingly these oldsters qualified the batch I rightfully belonged. Good for me because I still could type and write crappy blogs and if you’re like me with nothing much to boost or brag about, simple things like this is just about good enough. Some few good oldsters maybe demanding and could ask for more but a greater few probably are just like me so contented and fully satisfied with just a little bit of anything.
So the point now is how to get these lonely people interested in reading blogs or at least having and knowing some orientations in the computer. For some it’s probably too late. But too late is better than never. We could not surely urge everyone to go on blogging much less composing and writing their own blogs, but at least if we could teach them how to use the search engines, like Google and logging to goodwater724 that would be a nice idea! At least these people would probably have now some little time to laugh their asses out! And I guess that October Moon is just this all about. See you next time!
Goodwater724
01-10-11
